It turns out that
setting a goal of updating this blog was way too unrealistic for me in the
summer. I have been avoiding my computer ever since we had our first heat wave
in March. While I will try to update this space as much as possible over the
summer, I will not commit myself to updating once a week. In the meantime, here
is a post about a classic monster movie….
The
Monster Squad (1987) is one of
those films that I saw as a child that has really impacted my love of horror.
Directed by Fred Dekker
(Robocop 3 and The Tales from the Crypt TV series), the film follows a group of
misfit kids who form a “monster club.” Sort of The
Goonies fight Dracula.
The Squad discovers Van Helsing’s
diary at an old garage sale only to learn that Dracula some of his more
recognizable movie monster friends (The Mummy, a Werewolf, a Swamp Monster, and
Frankenstein’s Monster) are in town to find an ancient amulet that would give
them the power to rule the world.
Since the kids are the only ones
in town who even believe in monsters, it is up to them to save the world. They
recruit the help of their “scary” German neighbor to translate the diary from
German and race to find the amulet before Dracula and his minions. In these
scenes there are not so subtle messages about the connection between Nazi’s and
Monsters.
Rumors have been circulating the
internet for a few years that The Platinum Dunes is planning to remake the film
for Paramount. The new film will be directed by Rob Cohen (xXx, Stealth, The
Fast and the Furious) from a script being penned by Mark and Brian Gunn.
Rumor also has it that Paramount is interested in turning this into a franchise
if it is successful. I am both excited
and frustrated by this.
I not only love that this film
carries such strong connections to my childhood, but it also solidified
something that I knew as a child: kids are capable of not only doing grown-up
things well, but sometimes they can do it better than adults. The problem with
the movie I have is that boys are the only ones portrayed as capable of saving
the world. The monster squad clubhouse has a “no girls allowed” sign and girls
are only invited into the squad because a female virgin is needed to read the
document in German that will open the vortex and send all the monsters back to
hell. The only usefulness of girls in
this film is their virginity. (barf).
While the concept of a remake of
this film makes me a little sad, I think that there should be some improvements
added to a new version. This is what I want to see:
1.
More diversity in the casting. I don’t know
if you noticed, but all the characters are white middle class kids. Boring.
2.
More female character who are not love
interests or token virgins. I want to see strong young female characters actually
participating in the planning, fighting, and destruction of evil.
3.
No fat-phobic jokes! One of the things that has always pissed me
off about this film is the constant barrage of fat jokes directed toward a
character nicknamed “fat kid”. ARGH!
4.
No adults! One of my favorite things about
this film is that the kids take charge all the way though. The military shows
up too late and no adults have the knowledge necessary to take the monsters
down. With the exception of their German neighbor, of course. I hope this does not change in the new film.
I was seven when the film came
out and it is still one of the first films I reach for when I need some
cheering up. I am keeping my fingers
crossed that they do the remake justice!
