Remake The Monster Squad? Can we see some girls this time?!

It turns out that setting a goal of updating this blog was way too unrealistic for me in the summer. I have been avoiding my computer ever since we had our first heat wave in March. While I will try to update this space as much as possible over the summer, I will not commit myself to updating once a week. In the meantime, here is a post about a classic monster movie….

The Monster Squad (1987)  is one of those films that I saw as a child that has really impacted my love of horror. Directed by Fred Dekker (Robocop 3 and The Tales from the Crypt TV series), the film follows a group of misfit kids who form a “monster club.”  Sort of The Goonies fight Dracula. 

The Squad discovers Van Helsing’s diary at an old garage sale only to learn that Dracula some of his more recognizable movie monster friends (The Mummy, a Werewolf, a Swamp Monster, and Frankenstein’s Monster) are in town to find an ancient amulet that would give them the power to rule the world. 

Since the kids are the only ones in town who even believe in monsters, it is up to them to save the world. They recruit the help of their “scary” German neighbor to translate the diary from German and race to find the amulet before Dracula and his minions. In these scenes there are not so subtle messages about the connection between Nazi’s and Monsters.

Rumors have been circulating the internet for a few years that The Platinum Dunes is planning to remake the film for Paramount. The new film will be directed by Rob Cohen (xXx, Stealth, The Fast and the Furious) from a script being penned by Mark and Brian Gunn. Rumor also has it that Paramount is interested in turning this into a franchise if it is successful.  I am both excited and frustrated by this.

I not only love that this film carries such strong connections to my childhood, but it also solidified something that I knew as a child: kids are capable of not only doing grown-up things well, but sometimes they can do it better than adults. The problem with the movie I have is that boys are the only ones portrayed as capable of saving the world. The monster squad clubhouse has a “no girls allowed” sign and girls are only invited into the squad because a female virgin is needed to read the document in German that will open the vortex and send all the monsters back to hell.  The only usefulness of girls in this film is their virginity. (barf).

While the concept of a remake of this film makes me a little sad, I think that there should be some improvements added to a new version. This is what I want to see:

1.       More diversity in the casting. I don’t know if you noticed, but all the characters are white middle class kids.  Boring.

2.       More female character who are not love interests or token virgins. I want to see strong young female characters actually participating in the planning, fighting, and destruction of evil.

3.       No fat-phobic jokes!  One of the things that has always pissed me off about this film is the constant barrage of fat jokes directed toward a character nicknamed “fat kid”. ARGH!

4.       No adults! One of my favorite things about this film is that the kids take charge all the way though. The military shows up too late and no adults have the knowledge necessary to take the monsters down. With the exception of their German neighbor, of course.  I hope this does not change in the new film.

I was seven when the film came out and it is still one of the first films I reach for when I need some cheering up.  I am keeping my fingers crossed that they do the remake justice!

Weed from the Devil’s Garden

                                      

Happy 4/20 all!

It seems the world has once again become a “hot-box” of marijuana smoke. Thousands of smokers and activists will gather today to celebrate the green weed. The largest outdoor festival / protest in Canada has happened for the last 17 years in Vancouver.  According to Cannabis Culture Magazine, This year in Toronto “as an act of doobie defiance” activists will be smoking to protest “the Conservative government’s mandatory prison sentences for cannabis.”

Where did 4/20 come from?

The most prevalent internet origin story of 4/20 is that of the Waldo’s. The Waldo’s were a group of high school students in San Rafael, Calif., who reportedly used the term “420” in the early 1970s as a reference to the time they would meet at a statue of Louis Pasteur on the campus to smoke pot. They named themselves The Waldo’s because they used to hang out at a particular wall on campus.

Horror films and Marijuana:

Within horror film, weed is often portrayed as a sin that, once committed, turns into a (usually horrible) death sentence. The most famous example of this would be from the original Last House on the Left, in which two teenage girls try to score some pot before a concert and fall into the clutches of a twisted trio who rape, torture, and kill them.

Horror and exploitation film have a pretty consistent history of portraying marijuana (and other drugs such as LSD) as monstrous. In the famous 1936 film Reefer Madness (also called: Don’t Tell the Children) drug dealers corrupt innocent teenagers with reefer cigarettes. The message about drugs in horror film is pretty clear: don’t do them unless you want a serial killer to find you, rape you, torture you, or trap you in a basement and drain you of all your blood. 

Below are some examples of marijuana in horror….. Happy 4/20! Enjoy!

The Tripper (2006)  

A Ronald Reagan-obsessed serial killer targets a bunch of hippies who are heading to a weekend-long concert.

(See the trailer here)

Evil Bong (2006)

      

A “straight-laced nerd” moves into a college dorm with three hardcore marijuana users. One of the roommates orders an old giant bong that proves to have strange magical powers. When smoked said bong sends a person to a bizarre drugged-out alternate realm from which there is no easy escape.

(Trailer)

The Hamiltons (2006)

       Four young adult siblings try to fend for themselves after the mysterious death of their parents. But they harbor some dark secrets which include abducting and killing strangers, and feeding them to a mysterious 'thing' living in their cellar. (the older brother lures victims to the house with the promise of “quality weed”)
          (Trailer)

  
Class of Nuke ‘Em High (1986)

The pupils at a high school next to a nuclear power plant start acting and looking strange after buying contaminated drugs from a plant worker. 

(Trailer)

Last House on The Left (1972)

       A pair of teenage girls are headed to a rock concert for one's birthday. While trying to score marijuana in the city, the girls are kidnapped by a gang of psychotic convicts.
         (Trailer)

The Trip (1967)

 

 

      Although this film is about LSD and not marijuana, I felt it was a good addition to this list. The film follows the story of a television commercial director who embarks on a drug-filled personality crisis.

     INTERESTING FACT: Jack Nicholson wrote this screenplay based on his own experience of taking LSD under controlled laboratory conditions and also on his marriage break-up with first wife, Sandra Knight.

       (Full Movie)

Reefer Madness (1936)

       




       A trio of drug dealers lead innocent teenagers to become addicted to "reefer" cigarettes by holding wild parties with jazz music.

        (Full Movie)










 

Fun Historical Facts about Weed:

·         2737 B.C., the mystical Emperor Shen Neng of China was prescribing marijuana tea for the treatment of gout, rheumatism, malaria and, poor memory.

·         Marijuana’s popularity as a medicine spread throughout Asia, the Middle East, down the eastern coast of Africa, and within certain Hindu sects in India who all used the drug for religious purposes and stress relief. 

·         Ancient physicians prescribed marijuana for everything from pain relief to earache to childbirth. Doctors also warned against overuse of marijuana, believing that too much consumption caused impotence, blindness, and "seeing devils."

·         By the late 18th century, early editions of American medical journals recommend hemp seeds and roots for the treatment of inflamed skin, incontinence, and venereal disease.

·         Irish doctor William O'Shaughnessy first popularized marijuana's medical use in England and America. As a physician with the British East India Company, he found marijuana eased the pain of rheumatism and was helpful against discomfort and nausea in cases of rabies, cholera, and tetanus.

** To read more about the history of the drug and it’s representation in the 19^th Century, go here, or here, or here.